Wednesday, August 12, 2009

To Haiti and Back

So, I just got back from my fourth time in Haiti, and this time, I didn't want to come home. There is something about a third world country that makes life so very, very clear. Distractions turn from busyness, time, and schedules to the starving baby at the hospital, the 27 year-old young man dying of HIV, and the 15 year-old boy who describes his life in Haiti as "misery." Yes, I am quoting him.

I don't write any of that to incite feelings of guilt or whatever. I am just saying that this is the reality of what I am feeling right now. Somehow, I guess I feel like I could be used so much more over there or somewhere like that because there are so many who need love, who need compassion, who need the love of Christ in the midst of their desparity. Yes, there are so many here too who need that. There is just something different here. Go, and you will know.

Where does that leave me right now? It leaves me wrestling in myself. It leaves me asking God: "Where? When? How?" I am not going anywhere. Yet. I just know my heart (and my eyes) are weeping for those children. You can see some of them above.

I have been reading "A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier." It is pretty timely. I haven't seen the brutality this book explains, however my heart aches with the imagination of it. I know many in Haiti have experienced similar things in their lifetime. To think there are so many children who live in a such a state: poverty, separation, hunger, violence, abuse.

What am I going to do about it? What is Christ calling me to do about it?

I do know something... I know Christ is calling me to see youth come into the fullness of Christ. And I think of my dear dear friend in Haiti named Wilfet. Wilfet is 19 years old, and very much on his own in life. He came to Christ through Camp Hope, the camp my sister and I started last summer. He worked for us as a camp counselor last summer and this summer. Through this time, he has become like a brother to me and to my sister. Each day this past month, we sat with Wilfet studying English and Creole, and we would talk about Christ and how to grow in Him. Every day!! My favorite time of day was just sitting there with him and discussing life. I really believe Wilfet's life is being transformed through the love of Christ. That he has a hope and future even though he has a hard set of cards.

As I am writing all of this, I think of this verse for those children and youth: "We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God." 2 Corinthians 4:7-9. This verse gives me hope for the Wilfet's of this world, and it motivates me for those like him to know of this light shining in their hearts in the midst of the darkness.


kim.g... said...

pure inspiration!! I love your heart and the desire, passion, & hope God has given you for the people of Haiti.. praying with you.. <3

Jessica said...

Caitlin, you are an inspiration to so many, especially me. I am blessed to have you by my side through the many layers of our friendship. I am blessed that we have found the grace and strength to move from layer to layer, transitioning from needing one another to letting go watching with pure bliss as we grow and blossom. I am so moved by your words. I read the book you referred to in your post, A Long way Gone. I gave that book to a lost youth here, and her response is the same as so many, that they have no idea what life COULD be like, if we were born in another country, at another time or simply with a different deck of cards. I support your understanding of what you are supposed to be doing with your life, transforming youth through Christ.
Thank you for all you are doing in so many communities Caitlin. The love of Christ is shining through you. AND... I love the GAP Tee!!!
I love you girl!